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Literary Lapses
·
Stephen Leacock
28
Here
then
is
a
letter
from
a
young
man
whose
name
I
must
not
reveal,
but
whom
I
will
designate
as
D.
F.,
and
whose
address
I
must
not
divulge,
but
will
simply
indicate
as
Q.
Street,
West.
"DEAR
MR.
LEACOCK,
"For
some
time
past
I
have
been
the
recipient
of
very
marked
attentions
from
a
young
lady.
She
has
been
calling
at
the
house
almost
every
evening,
and
has
taken
me
out
in
her
motor,
and
invited
me
to
concerts
and
the
theatre.
On
these
latter
occasions
I
have
insisted
on
her
taking
my
father
with
me,
and
have
tried
as
far
as
possible
to
prevent
her
saying
anything
to
me
which
would
be
unfit
for
father
to
hear.
But
my
position
has
become
a
very
difficult
one.
I
do
not
think
it
right
to
accept
her
presents
when
I
cannot
feel
that
my
heart
is
hers.
Yesterday
she
sent
to
my
house
a
beautiful
bouquet
of
American
Beauty
roses
addressed
to
me,
and
a
magnificent
bunch
of
Timothy
Hay
for
father.
I
do
not
know
what
to
say.
Would
it
be
right
for
father
to
keep
all
this
valuable
hay?
I
have
confided
fully
in
father,
and
we
have
discussed
the
question
of
presents.
He
thinks
that
there
are
some
that
we
can
keep
with
propriety,
and
others
that
a
sense
of
delicacy
forbids
us
to
retain.
He
himself
is
going
to
sort
out
the
presents
into
the
two
classes.
He
thinks
that
as
far
as
he
can
see,
the
Hay
is
in
class
B.
Meantime
I
write
to
you,
as
I
understand
that
Miss
Laura
Jean
Libby
and
Miss
Beatrix
Fairfax
are
on
their
vacation,
and
in
any
case
a
friend
of
mine
who
follows
their
writings
closely
tells
me
that
they
are
always
full.
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