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349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
280
The
Stockbroker
Another
neighbour
who
interests
me
is
mainly
notable
for
his
extraordinary
gait.
He
is
a
man
with
a
large,
round
head,
a
large
round,
dissolute
looking
face
and
fairly
broad
shoulders,
below
which
everything
tapers
away
to
a
pair
of
tiny
feet
neatly
booted.
These
two
little
feet
are
excessively
sensitive
to
road
surface--one
would
say
he
had
special
sense
organs
on
his
toes,
to
judge
by
the
manner
in
which
he
picks
out
his
path
along
the
country
road
in
short,
quick,
fussy
steps:
his
feet
seem
to
dissect
out
the
road
as
if
boning
a
herring.
A
big
bunion
is
as
good
as
a
sense
organ,
but
his
feet
are
too
small
and
elegant.
September
24.
The
second
nurse
arrived
to-day.
Great
air
raid
last
night
of
which
we
heard
nothing,
thank
God!
My
nerves
are
giving
way
under
the
strain....
One
leg
(the
left)
drags
abominably....
We
shall
want
a
bath-chair
as
well
as
a
perambulator.
Crawled
up
thro'
the
path-fields
to
the
uplands
and
sat
in
a
field
in
the
sun
with
my
back
against
a
haystack.
I
was
so
immobile
in
my
dejection
that
Flies
and
Grass-hoppers
came
and
perched
about
me.
This
made
me
furious.
"I
am
not
dead
yet,"
I
said,
"get
away,"
and
I
would
suddenly
drive
them
off....
In
horrible
dejection....
Even
my
mental
powers
are
disintegrating--that's
the
rub.
Some
quite
recent
incidents
I
cannot
remember
even
when
reminded
of
them:
they
seem
to
have
passed
clean
out
of
my
mind--a
remarkable
sensation
this.
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