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Literary Lapses
·
Stephen Leacock
29
"I
enclose
a
dollar,
because
I
do
not
think
it
right
to
ask
you
to
give
all
your
valuable
time
and
your
best
thought
without
giving
you
back
what
it
is
worth."
On
receipt
of
this
I
wrote
back
at
once
a
private
and
confidential
letter
which
I
printed
in
the
following
edition
of
the
paper.
"MY
DEAR,
DEAR
BOY,
"Your
letter
has
touched
me.
As
soon
as
I
opened
it
and
saw
the
green
and
blue
tint
of
the
dollar
bill
which
you
had
so
daintily
and
prettily
folded
within
the
pages
of
your
sweet
letter,
I
knew
that
the
note
was
from
someone
that
I
could
learn
to
love,
if
our
correspondence
were
to
continue
as
it
had
begun.
I
took
the
dollar
from
your
letter
and
kissed
and
fondled
it
a
dozen
times.
Dear
unknown
boy!
I
shall
always
keep
that
dollar!
No
matter
how
much
I
may
need
it,
or
how
many
necessaries,
yes,
absolute
necessities,
of
life
I
may
be
wanting,
I
shall
always
keep
THAT
dollar.
Do
you
understand,
dear?
I
shall
keep
it.
I
shall
not
spend
it.
As
far
as
the
USE
of
it
goes,
it
will
be
just
as
if
you
had
not
sent
it.
Even
if
you
were
to
send
me
another
dollar,
I
should
still
keep
the
first
one,
so
that
no
matter
how
many
you
sent,
the
recollection
of
one
first
friendship
would
not
be
contaminated
with
mercenary
considerations.
When
I
say
dollar,
darling,
of
course
an
express
order,
or
a
postal
note,
or
even
stamps
would
be
all
the
same.
But
in
that
case
do
not
address
me
in
care
of
this
office,
as
I
should
not
like
to
think
of
your
pretty
little
letters
lying
round
where
others
might
handle
them.
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