Lab
Library
Journal
Shop
Sign in
to keep
Share image
1
349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
300
December
26.
"In
thus
describing
and
illustrating
my
intellectual
torpor,
I
use
terms
that
apply
more
or
less
to
every
part
of
the
years
during
which
I
was
under
the
Circean
spells
of
opium.
But
for
misery--"
(Why
do
I
waste
my
energy
with
this
damned
Journal?
I
stop.
I
hate
it.
I
am
going
out
for
a
walk
in
the
fog.)
December
31.
Reminiscences
For
the
past
few
days
I
have
been
living
in
a
quiet
hermitage
of
retrospect.
My
memories
have
gone
back
to
the
times--remote,
inaccessible,
prehistoric--before
ever
this
Journal
was
begun,
when
I
myself
was
but
a
jelly
without
form
and
void--that
is,
before
I
had
developed
any
characteristic
qualities
and
above
all
the
dominant
one,
a
passion
for
Natural
History.
One
day
a
school
friend,
being
covetous
of
certain
stamps
in
my
collection,
induced
me
to
"swop"
them
for
his
collection
of
birds'
eggs
which
he
showed
me
nestling
in
the
bran
at
the
bottom
of
a
box.
He
was
a
cunning
boy
and
thought
he
had
the
better
of
the
bargain.
He
little
realised--nor
did
I--the
priceless
gift
he
bestowed
when
his
little
fat
dirty
hands
decorated,
I
remember,
with
innumerable
warts,
picked
out
the
eggs
and
gave
them
to
me.
In
fact,
a
smile
momentarily
crossed
his
face,
he
turned
his
head
aside,
he
spat
in
happy
contemplation
of
the
deal.
Marker
Marker
Fine marker
White-out
Fine white-out
Circle
Paint
Unmarker
Hand
Scalpel
Dice
Sieve
Purify
Undo
Redo
Start over
