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349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
301
I
continued
eagerly
to
add
to
the
little
collection
of
Birds'
eggs,
but
for
a
long
time
it
never
occurred
to
me
to
go
out
into
the
country
myself
and
collect
them,--I
just
swopped,
until
one
day
our
errand
boy,
who
stuttered,
had
bandy
legs,
and
walked
on
the
outside
of
his
feet
with
the
gait
of
an
Anthropoid,
said
to
me,
"I
will
sh-how
you
how
to
find
Birds'
n-nests
if
you
like
to
come
out
to
the
w-woods."
So
one
Saturday,
when
the
backyard
was
cleaned
down
and
the
coal
boxes
filled,
he
and
I
started
off
together
to
a
wood
some
way
down
the
river
bank,
where
he--my
good
and
beneficent
angel--presently
showed
me
a
Thrush's
nest
in
the
fork
of
a
young
Oak
tree.
Never-to-be-forgotten
moment!
The
sight
of
those
blue
speckled
eggs
lying
so
unexpectedly,
as
I
climbed
up
the
tree,
on
the
other
side
of
an
untidy
tangle
of
dried
moss
and
grass,
in
a
neat
little
earthenware
cup,
caused
probably
the
first
tremor
of
real
emotion
at
a
beautiful
object.
The
emotion
did
not
last
long!
In
a
moment
I
had
stolen
the
eggs
and
soon
after
smashed
them--in
trying
to
blow
them,
schoolboy
fashion.
Then,
I
rapidly
became
an
ardent
field
naturalist.
My
delight
in
Birds
and
Birds'
eggs
spread
in
a
benignant
infection
to
every
branch
of
Natural
History.
I
collected
Beetles,
Butterflies,
plants,
Birds'
wings,
Birds'
claws,
etc.
Dr.
Gordon
Staples
in
the
Boy's
Own
Paper,
taught
me
how
to
make
a
skin,
and
I
got
hold
of
a
Mole
and
then
a
Squirrel
(the
latter
falling
to
my
prowess
with
a
catapult),
stuffed
them
and
set
them
up
in
cases
which
I
glazed
myself.
I
even
painted
in
suitable
backgrounds,
in
the
one
case
a
mole-hill,
looking,
I
fear,
more
like
a
mountain,
and
in
the
other,
a
Fir
tree
standing
at
an
impossible
angle
of
45°.
Then
I
read
a
book
on
trapping,
and
tried
to
catch
Hares.
Then
I
read
Sir
John
Lubbock's
Ants,
Bees
and
Wasps,
and
constructed
an
observation
Ants'
nest
(though
the
Ants
escaped).
Marker
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