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Literary Lapses
·
Stephen Leacock
32
Or
consider
the
advance
of
the
science
on
its
practical
side.
A
hundred
years
ago
it
used
to
be
supposed
that
fever
could
be
cured
by
the
letting
of
blood;
now
we
know
positively
that
it
cannot.
Even
seventy
years
ago
it
was
thought
that
fever
was
curable
by
the
administration
of
sedative
drugs;
now
we
know
that
it
isn't.
For
the
matter
of
that,
as
recently
as
thirty
years
ago,
doctors
thought
that
they
could
heal
a
fever
by
means
of
low
diet
and
the
application
of
ice;
now
they
are
absolutely
certain
that
they
cannot.
This
instance
shows
the
steady
progress
made
in
the
treatment
of
fever.
But
there
has
been
the
same
cheering
advance
all
along
the
line.
Take
rheumatism.
A
few
generations
ago
people
with
rheumatism
used
to
have
to
carry
round
potatoes
in
their
pockets
as
a
means
of
cure.
Now
the
doctors
allow
them
to
carry
absolutely
anything
they
like.
They
may
go
round
with
their
pockets
full
of
water-melons
if
they
wish
to.
It
makes
no
difference.
Or
take
the
treatment
of
epilepsy.
It
used
to
be
supposed
that
the
first
thing
to
do
in
sudden
attacks
of
this
kind
was
to
unfasten
the
patient's
collar
and
let
him
breathe;
at
present,
on
the
contrary,
many
doctors
consider
it
better
to
button
up
the
patient's
collar
and
let
him
choke.
In
only
one
respect
has
there
been
a
decided
lack
of
progress
in
the
domain
of
medicine,
that
is
in
the
time
it
takes
to
become
a
qualified
practitioner.
In
the
good
old
days
a
man
was
turned
out
thoroughly
equipped
after
putting
in
two
winter
sessions
at
a
college
and
spending
his
summers
in
running
logs
for
a
sawmill.
Some
of
the
students
were
turned
out
even
sooner.
Nowadays
it
takes
anywhere
from
five
to
eight
years
to
become
a
doctor.
Of
course,
one
is
willing
to
grant
that
our
young
men
are
growing
stupider
and
lazier
every
year.
This
fact
will
be
corroborated
at
once
by
any
man
over
fifty
years
of
age.
But
even
when
this
is
said
it
seems
odd
that
a
man
should
study
eight
years
now
to
learn
what
he
used
to
acquire
in
eight
months.
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