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96
The Inventions of the Idiot
·
John Kendrick Bangs
33
V
University
Extension
"I
was
surprised
and
gratified
last
evening,
Mr.
Idiot,"
observed
the
School-master
as
breakfast
was
served,
"to
see
you
at
the
University
Extension
Lecture.
I
did
not
know
that
you
admitted
the
necessity
of
further
instruction
in
any
matter
pertaining
to
human
knowledge."
"I
don't
know
that
I
do
admit
the
necessity,"
returned
the
Idiot.
"Sometimes
when
I
take
an
inventory
of
the
contents
of
my
mind
it
seems
to
me
that
about
everything
I
need
is
there."
"There
you
go
again!"
said
the
Bibliomaniac.
"Why
do
you
persist
in
your
refusal
to
allow
any
one
to
get
a
favorable
impression
concerning
you?
Mr.
Pedagog
unbends
sufficiently
to
tell
you
that
you
have
at
last
done
something
which
he
can
commend,
and
you
greet
him
with
an
Idiotism
which
is
practically
a
rebuff."
"Very
well
said,"
observed
the
School-master,
with
an
acquiescent
nod.
"I
came
to
this
table
this
morning
encouraged
to
believe
that
this
young
man
was
beginning
to
see
the
error
of
his
ways,
and
I
must
confess
to
a
great
enough
interest
in
him
to
say
that
I
was
pleased
at
that
encouragement.
I
saw
him
at
a
lecture
on
literature
at
the
Lyceum
Hall
last
evening,
and
he
appeared
to
be
interested,
and
yet
this
morning
he
seems
to
show
that
he
is
utterly
incorrigible.
May
I
ask,
sir,
why
you
attended
that
lecture
if,
as
you
say,
your
mind
is
already
sufficiently
well
furnished?"
"Certainly
you
may
ask
that
question,"
replied
the
Idiot.
"I
went
to
that
lecture
to
have
my
impressions
confirmed,
that
is
all.
I
have
certain
well-defined
notions
concerning
University
Extension,
and
I
wished
to
see
if
they
were
correct.
I
found
that
they
were."
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