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349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
333
Recently,
however,
there
has
been
evidence
of
a
more
benevolent
attitude
towards
me
on
the
part
of
London
editors.
A
certain
magnificent
quarterly
has
published
one
or
two
of
my
essays,
and
one
of
these
called
forth
two
pages
of
quotation
and
flattering
comment
in
Public
Opinion,
which
thrill
me
to
the
marrow.
I
fear,
however,
the
flood-tide
has
come
too
late.
If
this
achievement
impressed
me
it
did
not
seem
to
impress
anyone
else.
A----
regarded
it
as
a
joke
and
laughed
incredulously
when
someone
told
him
of
"P.O.'s"
eulogy.
You
see
I
am
still
his
foolish
little
brother.
I
am
secretly
very
nettled
too
because
E----
treated
the
whole
matter
very
indifferently.
She
did
not
even
take
the
trouble
to
read
the
paper's
critique,
and
tho'
she
volunteered
to
buy
several
copies
to
send
to
friends,
she
never
remembered
to
do
so,
and
the
whole
affair
has
passed
out
of
her
mind.
Now
a
pleasant
paragraph
that
appeared
in
the
press
noticing
some
drawings
of
a
friend
of
her
friend,
she
read
twice
and
marched
off
to
Francesca
with
it
in
great
glee.
Another
successful
young
person
got
his
photo
into
the
picture
papers--a
man
we
know
only
by
hearsay,
and
yet
it
impressed
her
until
I
recalled,
what
strange
to
say
she
had
quite
forgotten,
how
the
photographers
wished
to
publish
her
own
photograph
in
the
picture
papers
at
the
time
of
our
marriage.
But
she
scornfully
refused.
(And
so
did
I.)
But
what
a
queer
woman!...
[And
I,
too,
a
queer
man,
drunken
with
wormwood
and
gall.]
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