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96
The Inventions of the Idiot
·
John Kendrick Bangs
34
"The
lecture
was
not
upon
University
Extension,
but
upon
Romanticism,
and
it
was
a
most
able
discourse,"
retorted
Mr.
Pedagog.
"Very
likely,"
said
the
Idiot.
"I
did
not
hear
it.
I
did
not
want
to
hear
it.
I
have
my
own
ideas
concerning
Romanticism,
which
do
not
need
confirmation
or
correction.
I
have
already
confirmed
and
corrected
them.
I
went
to
see
the
audience
and
not
to
hear
Professor
Peterkin
exploding
theories."
"It
is
a
pity
the
chair
you
occupied
was
wasted
upon
you,"
snapped
Mr.
Pedagog.
"I
agree
with
you,"
said
the
Idiot.
"I
could
have
got
a
much
better
view
of
the
audience
if
I
had
been
permitted
to
sit
on
the
stage,
but
Professor
Peterkin
needed
all
that
for
his
gestures.
However,
I
saw
enough
from
where
I
sat
to
confirm
my
impression
that
University
Extension
is
not
so
much
of
a
public
benefit
as
a
social
fad.
There
was
hardly
a
soul
in
the
audience
who
could
not
have
got
all
that
Professor
Peterkin
had
to
tell
him
out
of
his
books;
there
was
hardly
a
soul
in
the
audience
who
could
not
have
afforded
to
pay
one
dollar
at
least
for
the
seat
he
occupied;
there
was
not
a
soul
in
the
audience
who
had
paid
more
than
ten
cents
for
his
seat
or
her
seat,
and
those
for
whose
benefit
the
lecture
was
presumably
given,
the
ten-cent
people,
were
crowded
out.
The
lectures
themselves
are
not
instructive--Professor
Peterkin's
particularly--except
in
so
far
as
it
is
instructive
to
hear
what
Professor
Peterkin
thinks
on
this
or
that
subject,
and
his
desire
to
be
original
forces
him
to
cook
up
views
which
no
one
else
ever
held,
with
the
result
that
what
he
says
is
most
interesting
and
proper
to
be
presented
to
the
attention
of
a
discriminating
audience,
but
not
proper
to
be
presented
to
an
audience
that
is
supposed
to
come
there
to
receive
instruction."
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