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96
The Inventions of the Idiot
·
John Kendrick Bangs
37
'If
we
educate
the
masses
to
understand
and
to
appreciate
the
artistic,
the
beautiful,'
he
wrote,
'we
need
have
little
fear
for
the
future.
Ignorance
is
the
greatest
foe
we
have
to
contend
against
in
our
national
development,
and
it
is
the
only
thing
that
can
overthrow
a
nation
such
as
ours
is.'
And
then
what
happened?
Professor
Peterkin
came
along
and
delivered
ten
or
a
dozen
lectures.
The
masses
went
once
or
twice
and
found
the
platform
occupied
by
a
man
who
talked
to
them
about
Romanticism
and
Realism;
who
told
them
that
Dickens
was
trash;
who
exalted
Tolstoi
and
Ibsen;
but
who
never
let
them
into
the
secret
of
what
Romanticism
was,
and
who
kept
them
equally
in
the
dark
as
to
the
significance
of
Realism.
They
also
found
the
best
seats
in
the
lecture-hall
occupied
by
the
smart
set
in
full
evening-dress,
who
talked
almost
as
much
and
as
loudly
as
did
Professor
Peterkin.
The
masses
did
not
even
learn
manners
at
Professor
Peterkin's
first
and
second
lectures,
and
the
third
and
fourth
found
them
conspicuous
by
their
absence.
All
they
learned
was
that
they
were
ignorant,
and
that
other
people
were
better
than
they,
and
what
my
father
learned
was
that
he
had
subscribed
fifty
dollars
to
promote
a
series
of
social
functions
for
the
diversion
of
the
four
hundred
and
the
aggrandizement
of
Professor
Peterkin.
He
started
in
for
what
might
be
called
Romanticism,
and
he
got
a
Realism
that
he
did
not
like
in
less
time
than
it
takes
to
tell
of
it,
and
to-day
in
that
town
University
Extension
is
such
a
fad
that
when,
some
weeks
ago,
the
swell
club
of
that
place
talked
of
appointing
Thursday
evening
as
its
club
night,
it
was
found
to
be
impossible,
for
the
reason
that
it
might
interfere
with
the
attendance
upon
the
University
Extension
lectures.
That,
Mr.
Pedagog,
is
a
matter
of
history
and
can
be
proven,
and
last
night's
audience
confirmed
the
impression
which
I
had
formed
from
what
my
father
had
told
me.
Professor
Peterkin's
lectures
are
interesting
to
you,
a
school-master,
but
they
are
pure
Greek
to
me,
who
would
like
to
know
more
about
letters.
I
would
gather
more
instruction
from
your
table-talk
in
an
hour
than
I
could
from
Professor
Peterkin's
whole
course."
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