Lab
Library
Journal
Shop
Sign in
to keep
1
150
Literary Lapses
·
Stephen Leacock
39
IV.
The
overcoat
is
attacked
by
no
serious
disorders,
except--
Phosphorescentia,
or
Glistening,
a
malady
which
indeed
may
often
be
observed
to
affect
the
whole
system.
It
is
caused
by
decay
of
tissue
from
old
age
and
is
generally
aggravated
by
repeated
brushing.
A
peculiar
feature
of
the
complaint
is
the
lack
of
veracity
on
the
part
of
the
patient
in
reference
to
the
cause
of
his
uneasiness.
Another
invariable
symptom
is
his
aversion
to
outdoor
exercise;
under
various
pretexts,
which
it
is
the
duty
of
his
medical
adviser
firmly
to
combat,
he
will
avoid
even
a
gentle
walk
in
the
streets.
V.
Of
the
waistcoat
science
recognizes
but
one
disease--
Porriggia,
an
affliction
caused
by
repeated
spilling
of
porridge.
It
is
generally
harmless,
chiefly
owing
to
the
mental
indifference
of
the
patient.
It
can
be
successfully
treated
by
repeated
fomentations
of
benzine.
VI.
Mortificatio
Tilis,
or
Greenness
of
the
Hat,
is
a
disease
often
found
in
connection
with
Phosphorescentia
(mentioned
above),
and
characterized
by
the
same
aversion
to
outdoor
life.
VII.
Sterilitas,
or
Loss
of
Fur,
is
another
disease
of
the
hat,
especially
prevalent
in
winter.
It
is
not
accurately
known
whether
this
is
caused
by
a
falling
out
of
the
fur
or
by
a
cessation
of
growth.
In
all
diseases
of
the
hat
the
mind
of
the
patient
is
greatly
depressed
and
his
countenance
stamped
with
the
deepest
gloom.
He
is
particularly
sensitive
in
regard
to
questions
as
to
the
previous
history
of
the
hat.
Want
of
space
precludes
the
mention
of
minor
diseases,
such
as--
Marker
Marker
Fine marker
White-out
Fine white-out
Circle
Paint
Unmarker
Hand
Scalpel
Dice
Sieve
Purify
Undo
Redo
Start over
