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148
The Diary of a Nobody
·
George Grossmith Weedon Grossmith
4
APRIL
6.—
Eggs
for
breakfast
simply
shocking;
sent
them
back
to
Borset
with
my
compliments,
and
he
needn’t
call
any
more
for
orders.
Couldn’t
find
umbrella,
and
though
it
was
pouring
with
rain,
had
to
go
without
it.
Sarah
said
Mr.
Gowing
must
have
took
it
by
mistake
last
night,
as
there
was
a
stick
in
the
‘all
that
didn’t
belong
to
nobody.
In
the
evening,
hearing
someone
talking
in
a
loud
voice
to
the
servant
in
the
downstairs
hall,
I
went
out
to
see
who
it
was,
and
was
surprised
to
find
it
was
Borset,
the
butterman,
who
was
both
drunk
and
offensive.
Borset,
on
seeing
me,
said
he
would
be
hanged
if
he
would
ever
serve
City
clerks
any
more—
the
game
wasn’t
worth
the
candle.
I
restrained
my
feelings,
and
quietly
remarked
that
I
thought
it
was
possible
for
a
city
clerk
to
be
a
gentleman.
He
replied
he
was
very
glad
to
hear
it,
and
wanted
to
know
whether
I
had
ever
come
across
one,
for
he
hadn’t.
He
left
the
house,
slamming
the
door
after
him,
which
nearly
broke
the
fanlight;
and
I
heard
him
fall
over
the
scraper,
which
made
me
feel
glad
I
hadn’t
removed
it.
When
he
had
gone,
I
thought
of
a
splendid
answer
I
ought
to
have
given
him.
However,
I
will
keep
it
for
another
occasion.
APRIL
7.—
Being
Saturday,
I
looked
forward
to
being
home
early,
and
putting
a
few
things
straight;
but
two
of
our
principals
at
the
office
were
absent
through
illness,
and
I
did
not
get
home
till
seven.
Found
Borset
waiting.
He
had
been
three
times
during
the
day
to
apologise
for
his
conduct
last
night.
He
said
he
was
unable
to
take
his
Bank
Holiday
last
Monday,
and
took
it
last
night
instead.
He
begged
me
to
accept
his
apology,
and
a
pound
of
fresh
butter.
He
seems,
after
all,
a
decent
sort
of
fellow;
so
I
gave
him
an
order
for
some
fresh
eggs,
with
a
request
that
on
this
occasion
they
should
be
fresh.
I
am
afraid
we
shall
have
to
get
some
new
stair-carpets
after
all;
our
old
ones
are
not
quite
wide
enough
to
meet
the
paint
on
either
side.
Carrie
suggests
that
we
might
ourselves
broaden
the
paint.
I
will
see
if
we
can
match
the
colour
(dark
chocolate)
on
Monday.
Marker
Marker
Fine marker
White-out
Fine white-out
Circle
Paint
Unmarker
Hand
Scalpel
Dice
Sieve
Purify
Undo
Redo
Start over
