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The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness
·
Florence Hartley
4
True
politeness
will
be
found,
its
basis
in
the
human
heart,
the
same
in
all
these
varied
scenes
and
situations,
but
the
outward
forms
of
etiquette
will
vary
everywhere.
Even
in
the
same
scene,
time
will
alter
every
form,
and
render
the
exquisite
polish
of
last
year,
obsolete
rudeness
next
year.
Politeness,
being
based
upon
real
kindness
of
heart,
cannot
exist
where
there
is
selfishness
or
brutality
to
warp
its
growth.
It
is
founded
upon
love
of
the
neighbor,
and
a
desire
to
be
beloved,
and
to
show
love.
Thus,
where
such
pure,
noble
feelings
do
not
exist,
the
mere
forms
of
politeness
become
hypocrisy
and
deceit.
Rudeness
will
repel,
where
courtesy
would
attract
friends.
Never
by
word
or
action
notice
the
defects
of
another;
be
charitable,
for
all
need
charity.
Remember
who
said,
"Let
him
that
is
without
fault
cast
the
first
stone."
Remember
that
the
laws
of
politeness
require
the
consideration
of
the
feelings
of
others;
the
endeavor
to
make
every
one
feel
at
ease;
and
frank
courtesy
towards
all.
Never
meet
rudeness
in
others
with
rudeness
upon
your
own
part;
even
the
most
brutal
and
impolite
will
be
more
shamed
by
being
met
with
courtesy
and
kindness,
than
by
any
attempt
to
annoy
them
by
insolence
on
your
part.
Politeness
forbids
any
display
of
resentment.
The
polished
surface
throws
back
the
arrow.
Remember
that
a
favor
becomes
doubly
valuable
if
granted
with
courtesy,
and
that
the
pain
of
a
refusal
may
be
softened
if
the
manner
expresses
polite
regret.
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