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96
The Inventions of the Idiot
·
John Kendrick Bangs
40
VI
Social
Expansion
"We
were
talking
about
University
Extension
the
other
day,
Mr.
Pedagog,"
said
the
Idiot,
as
the
School-master
folded
up
the
newspaper
and
put
it
in
his
pocket,
"and
I,
as
you
remember,
suggested
that
it
might
better
be
called
Social
Expansion."
"Did
you?"
said
Mr.
Pedagog,
coldly.
"I
don't
remember
much
about
it.
I
rarely
make
a
note
of
anything
you
may
say."
"Well,
I
did
suggest
the
change
of
name,
whether
your
memory
is
retentive
or
not,
and
I
have
been
thinking
the
matter
over
a
good
deal
since,
and
I
think
I've
got
hold
of
an
idea,"
returned
the
Idiot.
"In
that
case,"
said
the
Bibliomaniac,
"we
would
better
lock
the
door.
If
you
have
really
got
hold
of
an
idea
you
should
be
very
careful
not
to
let
it
get
away
from
you."
"No
danger
of
that,"
said
the
Idiot,
with
a
smile.
"I
have
it
securely
locked
up
here,"
tapping
his
forehead.
"It
must
be
lonesome,"
said
Mr.
Pedagog.
"And
rather
uncomfortable--if
it
is
a
real
idea,"
observed
the
Doctor.
"An
idea
in
the
Idiot's
mind
must
feel
somewhat
as
a
tall,
stout
Irish
maid
feels
when
she
goes
to
her
bedroom
in
one
of
those
Harlem
flat-houses."
"You
men
are
losing
a
great
opportunity,"
said
the
Idiot,
with
a
scornful
glance
at
the
three
professional
gentlemen.
"The
idea
of
your
following
the
professions
of
pedagogy,
medicine,
and
literature,
when
the
three
of
you
combined
could
make
a
fortune
as
an
incarnate
comic
paper.
I
don't
see
why
you
don't
make
a
combination
like
those
German
bands
that
play
on
the
street
corners,
and
go
about
from
door
to
door,
and
crack
your
jokes
just
as
they
crack
their
music.
I
am
sure
you'd
take,
particularly
in
front
of
barber-shops."
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