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96
The Inventions of the Idiot
·
John Kendrick Bangs
42
"Far
from
it,"
returned
the
Idiot,
meekly.
"Very
far
from
it.
It
is
fate,
sir,
that
has
done
that--the
circumstantial
evidence
against
you
is
strong;
but
then,
mercifully
enough,
circumstantial
evidence
is
not
permitted
to
hang
a
man."
"Now
see
here,
Mr.
Idiot,"
said
the
Bibliomaniac,
firmly
and
impressively,
"I
want
you
to
distinctly
understand
that
I
am
not
going
to
have
you
put
words
into
my
mouth
that
I
never
uttered.
I--"
"Pray,
don't
attack
me,"
said
the
Idiot.
"I
haven't
made
any
charge
against
you.
I
only
asked
who
could
have
said
that
the
Doctor
looked
like
a
creation
of
Cruikshank.
I
couldn't
have
said
it,
because
I
don't
think
it.
Mr.
Pedagog
denies
it.
In
fact,
every
one
here
has
a
clear
case
of
innocence
excepting
yourself,
and
I
don't
believe
you
said
it,
only
the
chain
of
circumstance--"
"Oh,
hang
your
chain
of
circumstance!"
interrupted
the
Bibliomaniac.
"It
is
hung,"
said
the
Idiot,
"and
it
appears
to
make
you
very
uncomfortable.
However,
as
I
was
saying,
I
think
I
have
got
hold
of
an
idea
involving
a
truly
philanthropic
and
by
no
means
selfish
scheme
of
Social
Expansion."
"Heigho!"
sighed
Mr.
Pedagog.
"I
sometimes
think
that
if
I
had
not
the
honor
to
be
the
husband
of
our
landlady
I'd
move
away
from
here.
Your
views,
sir,
are
undermining
my
constitution."
"You
only
think
so,
Mr.
Pedagog,"
replied
the
Idiot.
"You
are
simply
going
through
a
process
of
intellectual
reconstruction
at
my
hands.
You
feel
exactly
as
a
man
feels
who
has
been
shut
up
in
the
dark
for
years
and
suddenly
finds
himself
in
a
flood
of
sunlight.
I
am
doing
with
you
as
an
individual
what
I
would
have
society
do
for
mankind
at
large--in
other
words,
while
I
am
working
for
individual
expansion
upon
the
raw
material
I
find
here,
I
would
have
society
buckle
down
to
the
enlargement
of
itself
by
the
improvement
of
those
outside
of
itself."
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