Lab
Library
Journal
Shop
Sign in
to keep
Share image
1
349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
46
March
10.
On
coming
downstairs
in
the
evening
played
Ludo
with
H----.
At
one
stage
I
laughed
so
much
in
conjunction
with
that
harlequin
H----
that
I
got
cramp
in
the
abdominal
muscles
and
the
tears
trickled
down
my
face.
March
13.
H----
and
I
play
Ludo
incessantly.
We've
developed
the
gambling
fever,
and
our
pent-up
excitement
every
now
and
then
explodes
in
fiendish
cackles,
and
Mother
looks
up
over
her
spectacles
and
says,
"William,
William,
they'll
hear
in
the
street
presently."
A
Character
For
this
world's
unfortunates,
his
is
the
ripe
sympathy
of
a
well-developed
nature,
standing
in
strong
contrast
with
the
rest
of
his
personality,
which
is
wholly
self-centred,
a
little
ungenerous,
and
what
strong
men
of
impeccable
character
call
"weak."
If
you
are
ill
he
is
delightful,
if
you
are
robust
or
successful
he
can
be
very
objectionable.
To
an
influenza
victim
he
goes
out
of
his
way
to
carry
a
book,
but
if
you
tell
him
with
gusto
you
have
passed
your
exam,
he
says,
"Oh,
but
there's
not
much
behind
it,
is
there?"
"Oh!
no,"
I
answer,
comforting
him,
"it
is
really
a
misfortune
to
be
a
success."
And
so
only
the
bankrupts,
dipsos
(as
he
calls
them),
ne'er-do-weels,
and
sudden
deaths
ever
touch
his
heart
or
tap
his
sympathy.
He
is
a
short,
queery,
dressy
little
fellow,
always
spruce
and
clean.
His
joy
consists
in
a
glass
of
beer,
a
full
stomach,
a
good
cigar,
or
a
pretty
girl
to
flirt
with.
He
frequents
drinking
saloons
and
billiard
rooms,
goes
to
dances
and
likes
to
be
thought
a
lady's
man.
"Urn,"
he
will
say,
with
the
air
of
a
connoisseur,
"a
little
too
broad
in
the
beam,"
as
some
attractive
damsel
walks
down
the
street.
Any
day
about
twelve
you
can
see
both
of
us,
"the
long
and
the
short
of
it"
(he
is
only
half
my
height
and
I
call
him
.5),
walking
together
in
the
Park,
and
engaged
in
the
most
heated
discussion
over
some
entirely
trivial
matter,
such
as
whether
he
would
marry
a
woman
with
sore
eyes,
etc.,
etc.
More
than
once
we
have
caught
cabmen
idle
on
the
cab-rank
or
policemen
on
point
duty
jerking
their
thumbs
backward
at
us
and
expressing
some
facetious
remarks
which
we
longed
to
overhear.
I
usually
walk
in
the
gutter
to
bring
my
height
down
a
bit.
Marker
Marker
Fine marker
White-out
Fine white-out
Circle
Paint
Unmarker
Hand
Scalpel
Dice
Sieve
Purify
Undo
Redo
Start over
