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264
Right Ho, Jeeves
·
P. G. Wodehouse
48
Not
Bottle.
Nottle.
Regards.
Bertie.
Almost
immediately
after
she
had
dispatched
the
above
heart
cry,
Gussie
must
have
arrived,
for
it
wasn’t
twenty
minutes
later
when
I
received
the
following:
Cipher
telegram
signed
by
you
has
reached
me
here.
Runs
“Lay
off
the
sausages.
Avoid
the
ham.”
Wire
key
immediately.
Fink-Nottle.
I
replied:
Also
kidneys.
Cheerio.
Bertie.
I
had
staked
all
on
Gussie
making
a
favourable
impression
on
his
hostess,
basing
my
confidence
on
the
fact
that
he
was
one
of
those
timid,
obsequious,
teacup-passing,
thin-bread-and-butter-offering
yes-men
whom
women
of
my
Aunt
Dahlia’s
type
nearly
always
like
at
first
sight.
That
I
had
not
overrated
my
acumen
was
proved
by
her
next
in
order,
which,
I
was
pleased
to
note,
assayed
a
markedly
larger
percentage
of
the
milk
of
human
kindness.
As
follows:
Well,
this
friend
of
yours
has
got
here,
and
I
must
say
that
for
a
friend
of
yours
he
seems
less
sub-human
than
I
had
expected.
A
bit
of
a
pop-eyed
bleater,
but
on
the
whole
clean
and
civil,
and
certainly
most
informative
about
newts.
Am
considering
arranging
series
of
lectures
for
him
in
neighbourhood.
All
the
same
I
like
your
nerve
using
my
house
as
a
summer-hotel
resort
and
shall
have
much
to
say
to
you
on
subject
when
you
come
down.
Expect
you
thirtieth.
Bring
spats.
Love.
Travers.
To
this
I
riposted:
On
consulting
engagement
book
find
impossible
come
Brinkley
Court.
Deeply
regret.
Toodle-oo.
Bertie.
Hers
in
reply
stuck
a
sinister
note:
Oh,
so
it’s
like
that,
is
it?
You
and
your
engagement
book,
indeed.
Deeply
regret
my
foot.
Let
me
tell
you,
my
lad,
that
you
will
regret
it
a
jolly
sight
more
deeply
if
you
don’t
come
down.
If
you
imagine
for
one
moment
that
you
are
going
to
get
out
of
distributing
those
prizes,
you
are
very
much
mistaken.
Deeply
regret
Brinkley
Court
hundred
miles
from
London,
as
unable
hit
you
with
a
brick.
Love.
Travers.
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