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The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness
·
Florence Hartley
48
If
your
hostess
or
any
of
the
family
play
for
the
guests
to
dance,
it
is
both
polite
and
kind
to
offer
to
relieve
them;
and
if
truly
polite
themselves,
they
will
not
take
advantage
of
the
offer,
to
over
tax
your
good
nature.
When
others
are
playing
or
singing,
listen
quietly
and
attentively;
to
laugh
or
talk
loudly
when
there
is
music
in
the
room,
is
rude,
both
toward
the
performer
and
your
hostess.
If
you
are
conversing
at
the
time
the
music
begins,
and
you
find
that
your
companion
is
not
disposed
to
listen
to
the
performer
at
the
harp
or
piano,
converse
in
a
low
tone,
and
take
a
position
at
some
distance
from
the
instrument.
If
the
rooms
are
not
large
enough
for
all
the
guests
to
dance
at
one
time,
do
not
dance
every
set,
even
if
invited.
It
is
ill-bred
and
selfish.
When
you
go
up
to
supper,
do
not
accept
anything
from
any
gentleman
but
the
one
who
has
escorted
you
from
the
parlor.
If
others
offer
you,
as
they
probably
will,
any
refreshment,
say
that
Mr.
----
(naming
your
escort)
has
gone
to
get
you
what
you
desire.
He
has
a
right
to
be
offended,
if,
after
telling
him
what
you
wish
for,
he
returns
to
find
you
already
supplied.
It
is
quite
as
rude
to
offer
what
he
brings
to
another
lady.
Her
escort
is
probably
on
the
same
errand
from
which
yours
has
just
returned.
It
may
seem
trivial
and
childish
to
warn
a
lady
against
putting
cakes
or
bon-bons
in
her
pocket
at
supper,
yet
it
is
often
done
by
those
who
would
deeply
resent
the
accusation
of
rudeness
or
meanness.
It
is
not
only
ill-bred,
but
it
gives
rise,
if
seen,
to
suspicions
that
you
are
so
little
accustomed
to
society,
or
so
starved
at
home,
that
you
are
ignorant
of
the
forms
of
etiquette,
or
are
forced
to
the
theft
by
positive
hunger.
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