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96
The Inventions of the Idiot
·
John Kendrick Bangs
5
"What
would
you
have
such
a
guild
do?"
queried
Mr.
Whitechoker.
"Do?
There'd
be
so
much
for
it
to
do
that
the
members
could
hardly
find
time
to
rest,"
returned
the
Idiot.
"Do?
Why,
my
dear
sir,
take
this
house,
for
instance,
and
see
what
it
could
do
here.
What
a
boon
it
would
be
for
me
if
some
kind-hearted
person
would
come
here
once
a
week
and
sew
buttons
on
my
clothes,
darn
my
socks--in
short,
keep
me
mended.
What
better
work
for
one
who
desires
to
make
the
world
brighter,
happier,
and
less
sinful!"
"I
fail
to
see
how
the
world
would
be
brighter,
happier,
or
less
sinful
if
your
suspender-buttons
were
kept
firm,
and
your
stockings
darned,
and
your
wardrobe
generally
mended,"
said
Mr.
Pedagog.
"I
grant
that
such
a
guild
would
be
doing
a
noble
work
if
it
would
take
you
in
hand
and
correct
many
of
your
impressions,
revise
your
well-known
facts
so
as
to
bring
them
more
in
accord
with
indubitable
truths,
and
impart
to
your
customs
some
of
that
polish
which
you
so
earnestly
strive
for
in
your
dress."
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