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96
The Inventions of the Idiot
·
John Kendrick Bangs
50
In
other
words,
I
lack
the
nerve
to
go
ahead
and
write
as
I
feel.
I
prefer
to
study
past
successes,
with
the
result
that
I
am
moderately
successful
only.
It's
the
same
way
in
every
line
of
business.
Precedent
guides
in
all
things,
but
where
occasionally
you
find
a
man
courageous
enough
to
cast
precedent
to
the
winds,
one
of
two
things
happens.
Either
fortune
or
ruin
follows.
Hence,
the
thing
to
do
if
you
want
to
make
a
fortune
is
to
eliminate
the
possibility
of
ruin
as
far
as
may
be.
You
cannot
ruin
a
man
who
has
nothing.
He
is
down
on
bed-rock,
anyhow;
so
for
a
receipt
for
fortune
I
should
say,
start
a
pauper,
show
your
nerve,
and
you'll
make
a
pile,
or
you
won't
make
a
pile.
If
you
make
it
you
are
fortunate.
If
you
fail
to
make
it
you
are
no
more
unfortunate
than
you
were
before
you
started."
"For
plausibility,
Mr.
Idiot,"
said
Mr.
Pedagog,
"you
are
to
me
a
perfect
wonder.
I
do
not
think
that
any
one
can
deny,
with
confidence
born
of
certainty,
the
truth
of
your
premises,
and
it
must
be
admitted
that
your
conclusions
are
based
properly
upon
those
premises,
and
yet
your
conclusions
are
almost
invariably
utterly
absurd,
if
not
absolutely
grotesque.
Here
is
a
man
who
says,
to
make
a
fortune
become
a
beggar!"
"Precisely,"
said
the
Idiot.
"There
is
nothing
like
having
a
clean
slate
to
work
on.
If
you
are
not
a
beggar
you
have
something,
and
having
something
promotes
caution
and
tends
to
destroy
nerve.
As
a
beggar
you
have
everything
to
gain
and
nothing
to
lose,
so
you
can
plunge.
You
can
swim
better
in
deep
water
than
in
the
shallow."
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