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96
The Inventions of the Idiot
·
John Kendrick Bangs
51
"Well,"
said
the
Doctor,
"enlighten
us
on
this
point.
You
may
not
know
how
to
show
nerve
as
a
writer--in
fact,
you
confess
that
you
don't.
How
would
you
show
nerve
as
a
beggar?
Would
you
strive
to
enforce
your
demands
and
degenerate
into
a
common
highwayman,
or
would
you
simply
go
in
for
big
profits,
and
ask
passers-by
for
ten
dollars
instead
of
ten
cents?"
"He'd
probably
take
a
bag
of
dynamite
into
a
millionaire's
office
and
threaten
to
blow
him
to
pieces
if
he
didn't
give
him
a
house
and
lot,"
sneered
the
Bibliomaniac.
"Not
at
all,"
said
the
Idiot.
"That's
cowardice,
not
nerve.
If
I
went
into
a
millionaire's
office
and
demanded
a
million--or
a
house
and
lot
even--armed
with
a
bag
full
of
newspapers,
pretending
it
held
dynamite,
it
might
be
more
like
nerve;
but
my
beggar
would
do
nothing
contrary
to
the
law.
He'd
simply
be
nervy,
that's
all--cheeky,
perhaps
you'd
call
it.
For
instance,
I
believe
that
if
I
were
to
hire
in
the
elevated
cars
one
of
those
advertising
spaces
above
the
windows,
and
were
to
place
in
that
space
a
placard
saying
that
I
was
by
nature
too
lazy
to
work,
too
fond
of
life
to
starve,
too
poor
to
live,
and
too
honest
to
steal,
and
would
be
placed
in
affluence
if
every
man
and
woman
who
saw
that
sign
would
send
me
ten
cents
a
week
in
two-cent
postage-stamps
for
five
weeks
running,
I
should
receive
enough
money
to
enable
me
to
live
at
the
most
expensive
hotel
in
town
during
that
period.
By
living
at
that
hotel
and
paying
my
bills
regularly
I
could
get
credit
enough
to
set
myself
up
in
business,
and
with
credit
there
is
practically
no
limit
to
the
possibilities
of
fortune.
It
is
simply
honest
nerve
that
counts.
The
beggar
who
asks
you
on
the
street
for
five
cents
to
keep
his
family
from
starving
is
rebuffed.
You
don't
believe
his
story,
and
you
know
that
five
cents
wouldn't
keep
a
family
from
starving
very
long.
But
the
fellow
who
accosts
you
frankly
for
a
dime
because
he
is
thirsty,
and
hasn't
had
a
drink
for
two
hours,
in
nine
cases
out
of
ten
properly
selected
ones
will
get
a
quarter
for
his
nerve."
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