Lab
Library
Journal
Shop
Sign in
to keep
1
150
Literary Lapses
·
Stephen Leacock
53
"Oh,
you're
just
full
of
faults,
just
full
of
them,
Mr.
Sapling!"
she
cried.
Mr.
Sapling
looked
it.
"To
begin
with,"
said
the
beautiful
girl,
slowly
and
reflectingly,
"you
are
dreadfully
cynical:
you
hardly
believe
in
anything
at
all,
and
you've
utterly
no
faith
in
us
poor
women."
The
feeble
smile
that
had
hitherto
kindled
the
features
of
Mr.
Sapling
into
a
ray
of
chastened
imbecility,
was
distorted
in
an
effort
at
cynicism.
"Then
your
next
fault
is
that
you
are
too
determined;
much
too
determined.
When
once
you
have
set
your
will
on
any
object,
you
crush
every
obstacle
under
your
feet."
Mr.
Sapling
looked
meekly
down
at
his
tennis
shoes,
but
began
to
feel
calmer,
more
lifted
up.
Perhaps
he
had
been
all
these
things
without
knowing
it.
"Then
you
are
cold
and
sarcastic."
Mr.
Sapling
attempted
to
look
cold
and
sarcastic.
He
succeeded
in
a
rude
leer.
"And
you're
horribly
world-weary,
you
care
for
nothing.
You
have
drained
philosophy
to
the
dregs,
and
scoff
at
everything."
Mr.
Sapling's
inner
feeling
was
that
from
now
on
he
would
simply
scoff
and
scoff
and
scoff.
"Your
only
redeeming
quality
is
that
you
are
generous.
You
have
tried
to
kill
even
this,
but
cannot.
Yes,"
concluded
the
beautiful
girl,
"those
are
your
faults,
generous
still,
but
cold,
cynical,
and
relentless.
Good
night,
Mr.
Sapling."
And
resisting
all
entreaties
the
beautiful
girl
passed
from
the
verandah
of
the
hotel
and
vanished.
And
when
later
in
the
evening
the
brother
of
the
beautiful
girl
borrowed
Mr.
Sapling's
tennis
racket,
and
his
bicycle
for
a
fortnight,
and
the
father
of
the
beautiful
girl
got
Sapling
to
endorse
his
note
for
a
couple
of
hundreds,
and
her
uncle
Zephas
borrowed
his
bedroom
candle
and
used
his
razor
to
cut
up
a
plug
of
tobacco,
Mr.
Sapling
felt
proud
to
be
acquainted
with
the
family.
Marker
Marker
Fine marker
White-out
Fine white-out
Circle
Paint
Unmarker
Hand
Scalpel
Dice
Sieve
Purify
Undo
Redo
Start over
