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Literary Lapses
·
Stephen Leacock
54
Winter
Pastimes
It
is
in
the
depth
of
winter,
when
the
intense
cold
renders
it
desirable
to
stay
at
home,
that
the
really
Pleasant
Family
is
wont
to
serve
invitations
upon
a
few
friends
to
spend
a
Quiet
Evening.
It
is
at
these
gatherings
that
that
gay
thing,
the
indoor
winter
game,
becomes
rampant.
It
is
there
that
the
old
euchre
deck
and
the
staring
domino
become
fair
and
beautiful
things;
that
the
rattle
of
the
Loto
counter
rejoices
the
heart,
that
the
old
riddle
feels
the
sap
stirring
in
its
limbs
again,
and
the
amusing
spilikin
completes
the
mental
ruin
of
the
jaded
guest.
Then
does
the
Jolly
Maiden
Aunt
propound
the
query:
What
is
the
difference
between
an
elephant
and
a
silk
hat?
Or
declare
that
her
first
is
a
vowel,
her
second
a
preposition,
and
her
third
an
archipelago.
It
is
to
crown
such
a
quiet
evening,
and
to
give
the
finishing
stroke
to
those
of
the
visitors
who
have
not
escaped
early,
with
a
fierce
purpose
of
getting
at
the
saloons
before
they
have
time
to
close,
that
the
indoor
game
or
family
reservoir
of
fun
is
dragged
from
its
long
sleep.
It
is
spread
out
upon
the
table.
Its
paper
of
directions
is
unfolded.
Its
cards,
its
counters,
its
pointers
and
its
markers
are
distributed
around
the
table,
and
the
visitor
forces
a
look
of
reckless
pleasure
upon
his
face.
Then
the
"few
simple
directions"
are
read
aloud
by
the
Jolly
Aunt,
instructing
each
player
to
challenge
the
player
holding
the
golden
letter
corresponding
to
the
digit
next
in
order,
to
name
a
dead
author
beginning
with
X,
failing
which
the
player
must
declare
himself
in
fault,
and
pay
the
forfeit
of
handing
over
to
the
Jolly
Aunt
his
gold
watch
and
all
his
money,
or
having
a
hot
plate
put
down
his
neck.
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