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349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
54
I
thanked
him
from
the
bottom
of
a
greedy
and
grateful
heart,
and
he
went
on,
"I
see
you
describe
yourself
in
your
papers
as
a
journalist,
but
can
you
tell
me
exactly
what
has
been
your
career
in
Zoology?"
I
answered
of
course
rather
proudly
that
I
had
had
no
career
in
Zoology.
"But
what
school
or
college
have
you
worked
at?"
he
persisted.
"None,"
I
said
a
little
doggedly.
"What
I
know
I
have
taught
myself."
"So
you've
had
no
training
in
Zoology
at
all?"
"No,
sir."
"Well,
if
you've
taught
yourself
all
you
know,
you've
done
remarkably
well."
He
still
seemed
a
little
incredulous,
and
when
I
explained
how
I
got
a
great
many
of
my
marine
animals
for
dissection
and
study
at
the
Plymouth
Marine
Laboratory,
he
immediately
asked
me
suspiciously
if
I
had
ever
worked
there.
We
shook
hands,
and
he
wished
me
all
success
in
the
future,
to
which
I
to
myself
devoutly
said
Amen.
Came
home
very
elated
at
having
impressed
some
one
at
last.
Now
for
Dublin.
June
30.
Oeconomic
biology
may
be
very
useful
but
I
am
not
interested
in
it.
Give
me
the
pure
science.
I
don't
want
to
be
worrying
my
head
over
remedies
for
potato
disease
nor
cures
for
fleas
in
fowls.
Heaven
preserve
me
from
ever
becoming
a
County
Council
lecturer
or
a
Government
Entomologist![1]...
Give
me
the
recluse
life
of
a
scholar
or
investigator,
full
of
leisure,
culture,
and
delicate
skill.
I
would
rather
know
Bergson
than
be
able
to
stay
at
the
Ritz
Hotel.
I
would
rather
be
able
to
dissect
a
star-fish's
water-vascular
system
than
know
the
price
of
Consols.
I
should
make
a
most
industrious
country
gentleman
with
£5,000
a
year
and
a
deer
park....
My
idea
is
to
withdraw
from
the
mobile
vulgus
and
spend
laborious
days
in
the
library
or
laboratory.
The
world
is
too
much
with
us.
I
long
for
the
monotony
of
monastic
life!
Father
Wasmann
and
the
Abbé
Spallanzani
are
the
type.
Let
me
set
my
face
towards
them.
Such
lives
afford
poor
material
for
novelists
or
dramatists,
but
so
much
the
better.
Hamlet
makes
fine
reading,
but
I
don't
want
to
be
Hamlet
myself.
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