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Literary Lapses
·
Stephen Leacock
56
It
is
impossible,
of
course,
to
give
all
the
rules
in
detail.
I
might
add,
however,
that
while
it
counts
TWO
to
strike
the
referee,
to
kick
him
counts
THREE.
To
break
his
arm
or
leg
counts
FOUR,
and
to
kill
him
outright
is
called
GRAND
SLAM
and
counts
one
game.
Here
is
another
little
thing
that
I
have
worked
out,
which
is
superior
to
parlour
games
in
that
it
combines
their
intense
excitement
with
sound
out-of-door
exercise.
It
is
easily
comprehended,
and
can
be
played
by
any
number
of
players,
old
and
young.
It
requires
no
other
apparatus
than
a
trolley
car
of
the
ordinary
type,
a
mile
or
two
of
track,
and
a
few
thousand
volts
of
electricity.
It
is
called:
The
Suburban
Trolley
Car
A
Holiday
Game
for
Old
and
Young.
The
chief
part
in
the
game
is
taken
by
two
players
who
station
themselves
one
at
each
end
of
the
car,
and
who
adopt
some
distinctive
costumes
to
indicate
that
they
are
"it."
The
other
players
occupy
the
body
of
the
car,
or
take
up
their
position
at
intervals
along
the
track.
The
object
of
each
player
should
be
to
enter
the
car
as
stealthily
as
possible
in
such
a
way
as
to
escape
the
notice
of
the
players
in
distinctive
dress.
Should
he
fail
to
do
this
he
must
pay
the
philopena
or
forfeit.
Of
these
there
are
two:
philopena
No.
1,
the
payment
of
five
cents,
and
philopena
No.
2,
being
thrown
off
the
car
by
the
neck.
Each
player
may
elect
which
philopena
he
will
pay.
Any
player
who
escapes
paying
the
philopena
scores
one.
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