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A New England Girlhood, Outlined from Memory (Beverly, MA)
·
Lucy Larcom
60
Whatever
naughtiness
I
was
guilty
of
afterwards,
I
never
again
wanted
to
take
what
belonged
to
another,
whether
in
the
family
or
out
of
it.
I
hated
the
sight
of
the
little
sugar
horseback
rider
from
that
day,
and
was
thankful
enough
when
some
other
child
had
bought
him
and
left
his
place
in
the
window
vacant.
About
this
time
I
used
to
lie
awake
nights
a
good
deal,
wondering
what
became
of
infants
who
were
wicked.
I
had
heard
it
said
that
all
who
died
in
infancy
went
to
heaven,
but
it
was
also
said
that
those
who
sinned
could
not
possibly
go
to
heaven.
I
understood,
from
talks
I
had
listened
to
among
older
people,
that
infancy
lasted
until
children
were
about
twelve
years
of
age.
Yet
here
was
I,
an
infant
of
less
than
six
years,
who
had
committed
a
sin.
I
did
not
know
what
to
do
with
my
own
case.
I
doubted
whether
it
would
do
any
good
for
me
to
pray
to
be
forgiven,
but
I
did
pray,
because
I
could
not
help
it,
though
not
aloud.
I
believe
I
preferred
thinking
my
prayers
to
saying
them,
almost
always.
Inwardly,
I
objected
to
the
idea
of
being
an
infant;
it
seemed
to
me
like
being
nothing
in
particular--neither
a
child
nor
a
little
girl,
neither
a
baby
nor
a
woman.
Having
discovered
that
I
was
capable
of
being
wicked,
I
thought
it
would
be
better
if
I
could
grow
up
at
once,
and
assume
my
own
responsibilities.
It
quite
demoralized
me
when
people
talked
in
my
presence
about
"innocent
little
children."
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