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349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
61
Later:
Spent
an
absolutely
damnable
day.
Am
sick,
tired,
bored,
frantic
with
her
voice
which
I
have
been
able
to
share
with
no
one
except
the
intellectual
giant,
her
husband,
at
tea
time.
In
order
to
break
the
flow
of
chatter,
I
would
rudely
interrupt
and
go
on
talking,
by
this
means
keeping
my
end
up
for
as
long
as
I
could,
and
enjoying
a
short
respite
from
the
fret-sawing
voice.
But
I
tired
of
this
and
it
was
of
no
permanent
value.
When
I
broke
in,
she
still
went
on
for
a
few
sentences
unable
to
stop,
and
lo!
here
was
the
spectacle
of
two
persons
alone
together
in
a
room
both
talking
at
the
same
time
and
neither
listening.
I
persisted
though--and
she
had
to
stop.
Once
started,
I
was
afraid
to
stop--scared
at
the
certain
fact
of
the
voice
beginning
to
saw
again.
After
a
while
the
fountain
of
my
artificial
garrulity
dried
up,
and
the
Voice
at
once
leaped
into
the
breach,
resuming--amazing
and
incredible
as
it
seems--at
the
precise
point
where
it
had
left
off.
At
7
I
am
quite
exhausted
and
sit
on
the
opposite
side
of
the
hearth,
staring
with
glassy
eyes,
arms
drooping
at
my
sides
and
mouth
druling.
At
7.05
her
cough
increases,
and
she
has
to
stop
to
attend
to
it.
With
a
fiendish
smile
I
push
back
my
chair,
and
quietly
watch
her
cough....
She
coughs
continuously
now
and
can
talk
no
longer.
Thank
God!
8
p.m.,
left
for
the
meeting,
where
I
read
my
paper
in
a
state
of
awful
nervousness....
I
read
out
all
I
had
to
say
and
kept
them
amused
for
about
ten
minutes.
I
was
very
excited
when
Dr.
----
got
up
and
praised
the
paper,[3]
saying
it
was
interesting,
and
hoping
I
should
continue
the
experiments.
The
chairman,
Sir
John
Rose
Bradford,
asked
a
question,
I
answered
it
and
then
sat
down.
After
the
meeting
we
went
upstairs
to
the
library,
had
tea
and
chatted
with
some
of
the
big
people....
Zoology
is
certainly
delightful,
yet
it
seems
to
me
the
Zoologists
are
much
as
other
people.
I
like
Zoology.
I
wish
I
could
do
without
Zoologists....
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