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96
The Inventions of the Idiot
·
John Kendrick Bangs
62
"Consciously
to
yourself
you
have
not,"
said
the
Idiot.
"Subconsciously,
however,
you
have.
The
Philosophy
of
the
Unconscious
teaches
us
that
unknown
to
ourselves
our
actions
are
directly
traceable
to
motives
we
wot
not
of.
The
truth
of
this
is
conclusively
proven
in
this
case.
Even
when
I
point
out
to
you
the
facts
in
the
case
you
deny
their
truth,
thereby
showing
that
you
are
not
conscious
of
the
real
underlying
motive
for
your
irritation.
Now,
why
is
that
irritation
there?
Because
our
several
rights
to
the
individual
waffles
that
are
served
here
are
not
clearly
defined
at
the
outset.
When
Mary
brings
in
a
steaming
platter
full
of
these
delicious
creations
of
the
cook,
Mr.
Pedagog
has
quite
as
much
right
to
the
one
with
the
six
of
hearts
on
it
as
I
have,
but
I
get
it.
He
does
not.
Hence
he
is
irritated,
although
he
does
not
know
it.
So
with
Mr.
Whitechoker.
Five
minutes
ago
he
was
hastening
through
the
four
of
spades
in
order
that
he
might
come
into
possession
of
the
ten
of
diamonds
that
lay
smoking
before
him.
As
he
was
about
to
put
the
last
spade
in
his
mouth
I
requested
him
to
hand
me
the
ten
of
diamonds,
having
myself
gulped
down
the
deuce
of
clubs
to
get
ahead
of
him.
He
couldn't
decline
to
give
me
that
waffle
because
he
wanted
it
himself.
He
had
to
give
it
to
me.
He
was
irritated--though
he
did
not
know
it.
He
sighed
and
gave
me
the
waffle."
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