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349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
62
October
30.
Home
once
more.
The
Natural
History
Museum
impressed
me
enormously.
It
is
a
magnificent
building--too
magnificent
to
work
there--to
follow
one's
profession
in
a
building
like
that
seems
an
altogether
too
grandiose
manner
of
life.
A
pious
zoologist
might
go
up
to
pray
in
it--but
not
to
earn
his
daily
bread
there.
October
31.
I'm
in,
in,
in!!!!!!!!!
being
first
with
141
marks
to
spare.
Old
M----[the
servant]
rushes
up
to
my
sister's
bedroom
with
the
news
just
after
7
a.m.,
and
she
says,
"Fine,
fine,"
and
comes
down
in
her
nightgown
to
my
bedroom,
where
we
drink
our
morning
cup
of
tea
together--and
talk!
I'm
delighted.
What
a
magnificent
obstacle
race
it
has
been!
Still
one
ditch--the
medical
exam!
Wired
to
friends.
November
1.
This
is
the
sort
of
letter
which
is
balm
to
me:--"My
darling
W----,--I
need
hardly
tell
you
how
absolutely
delighted
we
were
at
the
grand
news
of
this
morning.
You
must
be
feeling
a
huge
glow
of
satisfaction
with
the
knowledge
of
your
object
attained
through
untold
difficulties.
I
don't
wish
to
butter
you
up,
or
to
gush,
but
I
must
honestly
say
that
I
feel
tip-top
proud
of
my
old
Beano.
I
admire
your
brains
more
than
ever,
and
also
your
indomitable
pluck
and
grit,
and
your
quiet
bravery
in
disappointment
and
difficulty...."
November
14.
The
three
most
fascinating
books
in
Science
that
I
have
so
far
read
are
(easily):--1.
Darwin's
Expression
of
the
Emotions.
2.
Gaskell's
Origin
of
Vertebrates.
3.
Bergson's
Le
Rire.
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