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96
The Inventions of the Idiot
·
John Kendrick Bangs
63
"I
did
want
it,"
said
Mr.
Whitechoker.
"But
I
did
not
know
that
I
sighed."
"There
you
are,"
said
the
Idiot.
"It
is
the
Philosophy
of
the
Unconscious
again.
If
you
are
not
conscious
of
so
actual
a
thing
as
a
sigh,
how
much
the
more
unconscious
must
you
be
of
something
so
subtle
as
motive?"
"And
your
waffle-deck?"
said
the
Genial
Old
Gentleman
who
occasionally
imbibes.
"How
will
that
solve
the
problem?
It
seems
to
me
to
complicate
the
problem.
As
it
is,
we
have
about
thirty
waffles,
each
one
of
which
is
a
germ
of
irritation
in
the
breast
of
the
man
who
doesn't
eat
it.
If
you
have
fifty-two
waffles
you
have
twenty-two
more
germs
to
sow
discord
in
our
midst."
"You
would
have
but
for
my
scheme,"
said
the
Idiot.
"I'd
have
a
pack
of
cards
at
the
table,
and
I'd
deal
them
out
just
as
you
do
in
whist.
Each
card
would
represent
the
corresponding
waffle.
We'd
begin
breakfast
by
playing
one
hand
after
the
manner
of
whist.
Each
man
would
keep
his
tricks,
and
when
the
waffles
were
served
he
would
receive
those,
and
those
only,
represented
by
the
cards
in
the
tricks
he
had
taken.
If
you
took
a
trick
with
the
king
of
diamonds
in
it,
you'd
get
the
waffle
with
the
king
of
diamonds
on
it,
and
so
on.
Every
man
would
be
clearly
entitled
through
his
skill
in
the
game
to
the
waffles
that
he
ate."
"Very
good,"
said
Mr.
Whitechoker.
"But
suppose
you
had
bad
luck
and
took
no
tricks?"
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