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349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
63
Went
to
the
dentist
in
the
afternoon.
Evening
chiefly
occupied
in
reading
Le
Rire.
By
my
halidom,
it
is
an
extraordinarily
interesting
book!
November
29.
...
I
am
always
looking
out
for
new
friends--assaying
for
friendship....
There
is
no
more
delightful
adventure
than
an
expedition
into
a
rich,
many-sided
personality.
Gradually
over
a
long
probation--for
deep
minds
are
naturally
reticent--piece
after
piece
is
added
to
the
geography
of
your
friend's
mind,
and
each
piece
pleases
or
entertains,
while
in
return
you
let
him
steal
away
piece
after
piece
of
your
own
territory,
perhaps
saving
a
bit
up
here
and
there--such
as
an
enthusiasm
for
Francis
Thompson's
poetry--and
then
letting
it
go
unexpectedly.
It's
a
delightful
reciprocity.
I
dream
of
"the
honeyed
ease
of
the
Civil
Servant's
working
day"
(Peacock).
Yet
the
French
say
Songes
sont
mensonges.
December
13.
In
the
Park
it
was
very
dark
and
she
said,--
"If
I
lose
you
I
shan't
be
able
to
find
my
way
home."
"Oh!
I'll
look
after
you,"
I
said.
Both
being
of
the
same
mind
at
the
same
time
we
sat
down
on
a
seat
together
when
a
fortunate
thing
happened.
It
began
to
rain.
So
I
offered
her
part
of
my
overcoat.
She
nestled
in
under
my
arm
and
I
kissed
her
out
of
hand.
Voilà!
A
very
pretty
little
girl,
'pon
my
word.
December
20.
The
thing
is
obsessing
me.
After
an
early
supper
called
and
found
my
lady
ready
to
receive
me.
No
one
else
at
home.
So
walked
into
the
oak-panelled
room
with
the
red-curtained
windows,
took
off
my
coat
and
scarf.
She
followed
and
switched
off
the
light.
There
was
a
roaring
fire
in
the
grate.
She
is
very
amorous
and
I
am
not
Hippolytus,
so
we
were
soon
closely
engaged
in
the
large
chair
before
the
fire.
As
we
sailed
thus,
close
hauled
to
the
wind,
with
double
entendres
and
she
trembled
in
the
storm
(and
I
was
at
the
helm)
the
garden
gate
slammed
and
both
of
us
got
up
quickly.
I
next
heard
a
key
turn
in
the
lock
and
a
foot
in
the
passage:
"Mr.
----"
she
said....
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