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96
The Inventions of the Idiot
·
John Kendrick Bangs
66
"That
isn't
my
scheme
at
all,"
said
the
Idiot.
"You
have
a
monopoly
of
your
own
work
always
if
you
choose
to
avail
yourself
of
it,
and,
as
you
say,
a
man
would
be
crazy
to
do
so.
What
I'd
like
to
see
established
is
a
sort
of
Poetic
Clearing-house
Association.
Supposing,
for
instance,
that
I
opened
an
office
in
Wall
Street--a
Bank
for
Poets,
in
which
all
writers
of
verse
could
deposit
their
rhymes
as
they
write
them,
and
draw
against
them
just
as
they
do
in
ordinary
banks
with
their
money.
It
would
be
fine.
Take
a
man
like
Swinburne,
for
instance,
or
our
friend
here.
Our
poet
could
take
a
sonnet
he
had
written,
endorse
it,
and
put
it
in
the
bank.
He'd
be
credited
with
one
sonnet,
and
wouldn't
have
to
bother
his
head
about
it
afterwards.
He
could
draw
against
it.
If
the
Clearing-house
company
could
dispose
of
it
to
a
magazine
his
draft
would
be
honored
in
cash
to
its
full
value,
less
discount
charges,
which
would
include
postage
and
commissions
to
the
company."
"And
suppose
the
company
failed
to
dispose
of
it?"
suggested
the
Poet.
"They'd
do
just
as
ordinary
banks
do
with
checks--stamp
it
'Not
Good,'"
said
the
Idiot.
"That,
however,
wouldn't
happen
very
often
if
the
concern
had
an
intelligent
receiving-teller
to
detect
counterfeits.
If
the
receiving-teller
were
a
man
fit
for
the
position
and
a
poet
brought
in
a
quatrain
with
five
lines
in
it,
he
could
detect
it
at
once
and
hand
it
back.
So
with
comic
poems.
I
might
go
there
with
a
poem
I
thought
was
comic,
and
proceed
to
deposit
it
with
the
usual
deposit
slip.
The
teller
would
look
at
it
a
second,
scrutinize
the
humor
carefully,
and
then
if
it
was
not
what
I
thought
it,
would
stamp
it
'Not
Comic'
or
'Counterfeit.'
It
is
perfectly
simple."
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