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1
349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
69
June
20.
It
caused
me
anguish
to
see
my
article
returned
from
the
Fortnightly
and
lying
in
a
big
envelope
on
the
table
when
I
returned
home
this
evening.
I
can't
do
any
work
because
of
it,
and
in
desperation
rushed
off
to
the
stately
pleasure
domes
of
the
White
City,
and
systematically
went
through
all
the
thrills--from
the
Mountain
Railway
to
the
Wiggle
Woggle
and
the
'Witching
Waves.
June
21.
To-day
I
am
easier.
The
cut
worm
forgives
the
plough.
But
how
restless
this
disappointment
has
made
me....
I
have
no
plans
for
recuperation
and
cannot
settle
down
to
work.
July
6.
On
my
doctor's
advice,
went
to
see
Dr.
P----,
a
lung
specialist.
M----found
a
dull
spot
on
one
of
my
lungs,
and,
not
feeling
very
sure,
and
without
telling
me
the
nature
of
his
suspicion,
he
arranged
for
Dr.
P----
to
see
me,
allowing
me
to
suppose
he
was
a
stomach
authority
as
my
dyspepsia
is
bad.
Well:
it
is
not
consumption,
but
my
lungs
and
physique
are
such
that
consumption
might
easily
supervene.
As
soon
as
Dr.
P----
had
gone,
M----appended
the
following
lugubrious
yarn:--
Whenever
I
catch
cold,
I
must
go
and
be
treated
at
once,
all
my
leisure
must
be
spent
out
of
doors,
I
must
take
cream
and
milk
in
prodigious
quantities
and
get
fat
at
all
costs.
There
is
even
a
question
of
my
giving
up
work.
July
10.
A
young
but
fat
woman
sitting
in
the
sun
and
oozing
moisture
is
as
nasty
as
anything
in
Baudelaire.
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