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Right Ho, Jeeves
·
P. G. Wodehouse
75
“Indeed,
sir?”
“On
the
present
occasion
I
shall
not
fail,
and
I’ll
tell
you
why
I
shall
not
fail.
Because
my
scheme
is
rooted
in
human
nature.”
“Indeed,
sir?”
“It
is
simple.
Not
elaborate.
And,
furthermore,
based
on
the
psychology
of
the
individual.”
“Indeed,
sir?”
“Jeeves,”
I
said,
“don’t
keep
saying
‘Indeed,
sir?’
No
doubt
nothing
is
further
from
your
mind
than
to
convey
such
a
suggestion,
but
you
have
a
way
of
stressing
the
‘in’
and
then
coming
down
with
a
thud
on
the
‘deed’
which
makes
it
virtually
tantamount
to
‘Oh,
yeah?’
Correct
this,
Jeeves.”
“Very
good,
sir.”
“I
tell
you
I
have
everything
nicely
lined
up.
Would
you
care
to
hear
what
steps
I
have
taken?”
“Very
much,
sir.”
“Then
listen.
Tonight
at
dinner
I
have
recommended
Tuppy
to
lay
off
the
food.”
“Sir?”
“Tut,
Jeeves,
surely
you
can
follow
the
idea,
even
though
it
is
one
that
would
never
have
occurred
to
yourself.
Have
you
forgotten
that
telegram
I
sent
to
Gussie
Fink-Nottle,
steering
him
away
from
the
sausages
and
ham?
This
is
the
same
thing.
Pushing
the
food
away
untasted
is
a
universally
recognized
sign
of
love.
It
cannot
fail
to
bring
home
the
gravy.
You
must
see
that?”
“Well,
sir----”
I
frowned.
“I
don’t
want
to
seem
always
to
be
criticizing
your
methods
of
voice
production,
Jeeves,”
I
said,
“but
I
must
inform
you
that
that
‘Well,
sir’
of
yours
is
in
many
respects
fully
as
unpleasant
as
your
‘Indeed,
sir?’
Like
the
latter,
it
seems
to
be
tinged
with
a
definite
scepticism.
It
suggests
a
lack
of
faith
in
my
vision.
The
impression
I
retain
after
hearing
you
shoot
it
at
me
a
couple
of
times
is
that
you
consider
me
to
be
talking
through
the
back
of
my
neck,
and
that
only
a
feudal
sense
of
what
is
fitting
restrains
you
from
substituting
for
it
the
words
‘Says
you!’”
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