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96
The Inventions of the Idiot
·
John Kendrick Bangs
82
"Did
they
play
Alp
with
you?"
the
Idiot
asked,
with
a
grin.
"Alp?"
said
the
Poet.
"No--not
that
I
know
of.
They
may
have,
however.
I
was
hardly
conscious
of
what
they
were
doing
the
last
two
days
of
my
stay
there.
They
simply
overpowered
me,
and
I
gave
in
and
became
a
toy
for
the
time."
"It
isn't
much
fun
being
a
toy,"
said
the
Idiot.
"I
think
I'd
rather
play
Alp."
"What
on
earth
is
Alp?"
asked
Mr.
Pedagog,
his
curiosity
aroused.
"I've
heard
enough
absurd
names
for
games
in
the
last
five
years,
but
I
must
say,
for
pure
idiocy
and
lack
of
suggestiveness,
the
name
of
Alp
surpasses
all."
"That's
as
it
should
be,"
said
the
Idiot.
"My
small
cousin
invented
Alp,
and
anything
that
boy
does
is
apt
to
surpass
all.
He
takes
after
me
in
some
things.
But
Alp,
while
it
may
seem
to
lack
suggestiveness
as
a
name,
is
really
just
the
name
for
the
game.
It's
very
simple.
It
is
played
by
one
Alp
and
as
many
chamois
as
desire
to
take
a
hand.
As
a
rule
the
man
plays
the
Alp
and
the
children
are
the
chamois.
The
man
gets
down
on
his
hands
and
knees,
puts
his
head
on
the
floor,
and
has
a
white
rug
put
on
his
back,
the
idea
being
that
he
is
an
Alp
and
the
rug
represents
its
snow-clad
top."
"And
the
chamois?"
asked
Mr.
Whitechoker.
"The
chamois
climbs
the
Alp
and
jumps
about
on
the
top
of
it,"
said
the
Idiot.
"My
experience,
based
upon
two
hours
a
day
of
it
for
ten
consecutive
days,
is
that
it's
fun
for
the
chamois
but
rough
on
the
Alp;
and
I
got
so
after
a
while
that
I
really
preferred
business
to
pleasure
and
gave
up
playing
Alp
to
return
to
work
before
my
vacation
was
half
over."
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