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The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness
·
Florence Hartley
82
Having
once
taken
your
seat
at
table,
you
have
nothing
to
do
with
the
dinner
but
to
partake
of
it.
Not
a
word,
or
even
a
glance,
will
a
well-bred
hostess
bestow
upon
the
servants,
nor
will
she
speak
to
the
guests
of
the
dishes.
Their
choice
rests
between
themselves
and
the
waiters,
and
you
must
take
no
notice
of
what
they
eat,
how
much,
or
how
little.
Nay,
should
they
partake
of
one
dish
only,
you
must
ignore
the
fact.
The
greatest
tact
is
displayed
where
the
hostess
makes
each
guest
feel
perfectly
at
ease.
She
will
aid
her
husband
both
in
leading
and
supporting
the
conversation,
and
will
see
that
no
guest
is
left
in
silence
from
want
of
attention.
Whilst
she
ignores
every
breach
of
etiquette
her
guests
may
commit,
she
must
carefully
observe
every
rule
herself,
and
this
she
must
do
in
an
easy,
natural
manner,
avoiding
every
appearance
of
restraint.
Her
deportment,
she
may
be
sure,
is
secretly
watched
and
criticised
by
each
guest,
yet
she
must
appear
utterly
unconscious
that
she
is
occupying
any
conspicuous
position.
To
watch
the
servants,
or
appear
uneasy,
lest
something
should
go
wrong,
is
excessively
ill-bred,
and
if
any
accident
does
occur,
you
only
make
it
worse
by
noticing
it.
To
reprove
or
speak
sharply
to
a
servant
before
your
guests,
manifests
a
shocking
want
of
good
breeding.
The
rules
given
above
are
only
applicable
to
large
dinner
parties,
and
where
the
guests
are
few,
and
the
host
himself
carves,
these
rules
will
not
apply.
In
this
case,
as
you
will
only
require
the
services
of
your
own
household
domestics,
you
must,
of
course,
attend
personally
to
the
wants
of
your
guests.
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