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349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
83
In
the
middle
I
did
a
knee-jerk
which
made
them
scream
with
laughing--the
patellar
reflex
was
new
to
them,
so
I
seized
a
brush
from
the
grate,
crossed
to
Her
and
gently
tapped:
out
shot
her
foot,
and
----cried:
"Oh,
do
do
it
to
me
as
well."
It
was
rare
fun.
"Oh!
pretty
knee,
what
do
I
see?
And
he
stooped
and
he
tied
up
my
garter
for
me."
February
10.
News
of
Scott's
great
adventure!
Scott
dead
a
year
ago!!
The
news,
when
I
saw
it
to-night
in
the
Pall
Mall
Gazette
gave
me
cold
thrills.
I
could
have
wept....
What
splendid
people
we
humans
are!
If
there
be
no
loving
God
to
watch
us,
it's
a
pity
for
His
sake
as
much
as
for
our
own.
February
15.
Tried
to
kiss
her
in
a
taxi-cab
on
the
way
home
from
the
Savoy--the
taxi-cab
danger
is
very
present
with
us--but
she
rejected
me
quietly,
sombrely.
I
apologised
on
the
steps
of
the
Flats
and
said
I
feared
I
had
greatly
annoyed
her.
"I'm
not
annoyed,"
she
said,
"only
surprised"--in
a
thoughtful,
chilly
voice.
We
had
had
supper
in
Soho,
and
I
took
some
wine,
and
she
looked
so
bewitching
it
sent
me
in
a
fever,
thrumming
my
fingers
on
the
seat
of
the
cab
while
she
sat
beside
me
impassive.
Her
shoulders
are
exquisitely
modelled
and
a
beautiful
head
is
carried
poised
on
a
tiny
neck.
February
16.
Walking
up
the
steps
to
her
flat
to-night
made
me
pose
to
H----
(who
was
with
me)
as
Sydney
Carton
in
the
picture
in
A
Tale
of
Two
Cities
on
the
steps
of
the
scaffold.
He
laughed
boisterously,
as
he
is
delighted
to
know
of
my
last
evening's
misadventure.
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