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349
The Journal of a Disappointed Man
·
W. N. P. Barbellion
88
March
19.
Went
over
to
see
E----.
We
had
an
awkward
half-an-hour
alone
together.
She
was
looking
bewitching!
I
am
plunging
more
and
more
into
love.
Had
it
on
the
tip
of
my
tongue
once.
I
am
dreadfully
fond
of
her.
"I
have
a
most
profound
gloom
over
me,"
I
said.
"Why
don't
you
try
and
get
rid
of
it?"
she
asked.
"I
can't
until
Zeus
has
pity
and
rolls
away
the
clouds."
April
21.
We
are
sitting
up
in
our
beds
which
are
side
by
side
in
a
room
on
the
top
story
of
a
boarding
house
in
----
Road.
It
is
11.30
p.m.
and
I
am
leaning
over
one
one
side
lighting
the
oil
lamp
so
as
to
boil
the
kettle
to
make
Ovaltine
before
going
to
sleep.
"Whom
have
I
seduced?"
I
screamed.
"You
rotter,
don't
you
know
that
a
dead
passion
full
of
regrets
is
as
terrible
as
a
dead
body
full
of
worms?
There,
I
talk
literature,
my
boy,
if
you
were
only
Boswell
enough
to
take
it
down....
As
for
K----,
I
shall
never
invite
him
to
dinner
again.
He
comes
to
me
and
whines
that
nobody
loves
him,
and
so
I
say,
'Oh!
poor
lad,
never
mind,
if
you're
bored,
why,
come
to
my
rooms
of
an
evening
and
hear
me
talk--you'll
have
the
time
of
your
life.'
And
now
he's
cheeky."
H.
(sipping
his
drink
and
very
much
preoccupied
with
it)
replied
abstractedly,
"When
you
die
you'll
go
to
Hell."
(I
liked
his
Homeric
simplicity.)
"You
ought
to
be
buried
in
a
fireproof
safe."
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