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The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness
·
Florence Hartley
88
Do
not
press
those
near
you
to
take
more
or
other
things
than
are
upon
their
plate.
This
is
the
duty
of
the
hostess,
or,
if
the
company
is
large,
the
servants
will
attend
to
it.
For
you
to
do
so
is
officious
and
ill-bred.
When
conversing
let
your
knife
and
fork
rest
easily
upon
your
plate,
even
if
still
in
your
hand.
Avoid
holding
them
upright.
Keep
your
own
knife,
fork,
and
spoon
solely
for
the
articles
upon
your
own
plate.
To
use
them
for
helping
yourself
to
butter
or
salt,
is
rude
in
the
extreme.
When
you
do
not
use
the
salt-spoon,
sugar
tongs,
and
butter-knife,
you
may
be
sure
that
those
around
you
will
conclude
that
you
have
never
seen
the
articles,
and
do
not
know
their
use.
You
need
not
fear
to
offend
by
refusing
to
take
wine
with
a
gentleman,
even
your
host.
If
you
decline
gracefully,
he
will
appreciate
the
delicacy
which
makes
you
refuse.
If,
however,
you
have
no
conscientious
scruples,
and
are
invited
to
take
wine,
bow,
and
merely
raise
the
glass
to
your
lips,
then
set
it
down
again.
You
may
thus
acknowledge
the
courtesy,
and
yet
avoid
actually
drinking
the
wine.
No
lady
should
drink
wine
at
dinner.
Even
if
her
head
is
strong
enough
to
bear
it,
she
will
find
her
cheeks,
soon
after
the
indulgence,
flushed,
hot,
and
uncomfortable;
and
if
the
room
is
warm,
and
the
dinner
a
long
one,
she
will
probably
pay
the
penalty
of
her
folly,
by
having
a
headache
all
the
evening.
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