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96
The Inventions of the Idiot
·
John Kendrick Bangs
9
"I
think
your
scheme
is
certainly
a
picturesque
one
and
novel,"
said
Mr.
Whitechoker.
"There
seems
to
be
a
good
deal
in
it.
Don't
you
think
so,
Mr.
Pedagog?"
"Yes--I
do,"
said
Mr.
Pedagog,
wearily.
"A
great
deal--of
language."
And
amid
the
laugh
at
his
expense
which
followed,
the
Idiot,
joining
in,
departed.
II
A
Suggestion
for
the
Cable-cars
"Heigh-ho!"
sighed
the
Idiot,
rubbing
his
eyes
sleepily.
"This
is
a
weary
world."
"What?
This
from
you?"
smiled
the
Poet.
"I
never
expected
to
hear
that
plaint
from
a
man
of
your
cheerful
disposition."
"Humph!"
said
the
Idiot,
with
difficulty
repressing
a
yawn.
"Humph!
and
I
may
add,
likewise,
tut!
What
do
you
take
me
for--an
insulated
sun-beam?
I
can't
help
it
if
shadows
camp
across
my
horizon
occasionally.
I
wouldn't
give
a
cent
for
the
man
who
never
had
his
moments
of
misery.
It
takes
night
to
enable
us
to
appreciate
daytime.
Misery
is
a
foil
necessary
to
the
full
appreciation
of
joy.
I'm
glad
I
am
sort
of
down
in
the
mouth
to-day.
I'll
be
all
right
to-morrow,
and
I'll
enjoy
to-morrow
all
the
more
for
to-day's
megrim.
But
for
the
present,
I
repeat,
this
is
a
weary
world."
"Oh,
I
don't
think
so,"
observed
the
School-master.
"The
world
doesn't
seem
to
me
to
betray
any
signs
of
weariness.
It
got
to
work
at
the
usual
hour
this
morning,
and,
as
far
as
I
can
judge,
has
been
revolving
at
the
usual
rate
of
speed
ever
since."
"The
Idiot's
mistake
is
a
common
one,"
put
in
the
Doctor.
"I
find
it
frequently
in
my
practice."
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