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Literary Lapses
·
Stephen Leacock
92
Here
is
another
example.
How
interesting
it
would
be
to
get
a
detailed
account
of
that
little
affair
at
the
Robinsons',
of
which
the
neighbours
only
heard
indirectly!
Thus:
DELIGHTFUL
EVENING
AT
THE
RESIDENCE
OF
MR.
ALONZO
ROBINSON
Yesterday
the
family
of
Mr.
Alonzo
Robinson
spent
a
very
lively
evening
at
their
home
on
----th
Avenue.
The
occasion
was
the
seventeenth
birthday
of
Master
Alonzo
Robinson,
junior.
It
was
the
original
intention
of
Master
Alonzo
Robinson
to
celebrate
the
day
at
home
and
invite
a
few
of
les
garçons.
Mr.
Robinson,
senior,
however,
having
declared
that
he
would
be
damné
first,
Master
Alonzo
spent
the
evening
in
visiting
the
salons
of
the
town,
which
he
painted
rouge.
Mr.
Robinson,
senior,
spent
the
evening
at
home
in
quiet
expectation
of
his
son's
return.
He
was
very
becomingly
dressed
in
a
pantalon
quatre
vingt
treize,
and
had
his
whippe
de
chien
laid
across
his
knee.
Madame
Robinson
and
the
Mademoiselles
Robinson
wore
black.
The
guest
of
the
evening
arrived
at
a
late
hour.
He
wore
his
habits
de
spri,
and
had
about
six
pouces
of
eau
de
vie
in
him.
He
was
evidently
full
up
to
his
cou.
For
some
time
after
his
arrival
a
very
lively
time
was
spent.
Mr.
Robinson
having
at
length
broken
the
whippe
de
chien,
the
family
parted
for
the
night
with
expressions
of
cordial
goodwill.
Insurance
up
to
Date
A
man
called
on
me
the
other
day
with
the
idea
of
insuring
my
life.
Now,
I
detest
life-insurance
agents;
they
always
argue
that
I
shall
some
day
die,
which
is
not
so.
I
have
been
insured
a
great
many
times,
for
about
a
month
at
a
time,
but
have
had
no
luck
with
it
at
all.
Marker
Marker
Fine marker
White-out
Fine white-out
Circle
Paint
Unmarker
Hand
Scalpel
Dice
Sieve
Purify
Undo
Redo
Start over
