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137
The Solitary Summer
·
Elizabeth Von Arnim
94
It
is
a
relief
to
me
to
write
about
these
things
that
I
so
much
love,
for
I
do
not
talk
of
them
lest
I
should
be
regarded
as
a
person
who
rhapsodizes,
and
there
is
no
nuisance
more
intolerable
than
having
somebody's
rhapsodies
thrust
upon
you
when
you
have
no
enthusiasm
of
your
own
that
at
all
corresponds.
I
know
this
so
well
that
I
generally
succeed
in
keeping
quiet;
but
sometimes
even
now,
after
years
of
study
in
the
art
of
holding
my
tongue,
some
stray
fragment
of
what
I
feel
does
occasionally
come
out,
and
then
I
am
at
once
pulled
up
and
brought
to
my
senses
by
the
well-known
cold
stare
of
utter
incomprehension,
or
the
look
of
indulgent
superiority
that
awaits
any
exposure
of
a
feeling
not
in
the
least
understood.
How
is
it
that
you
should
feel
so
vastly
superior
whenever
you
do
not
happen
to
enter
into
or
understand
your
neighbour's
thoughts
when,
as
a
matter
of
fact,
your
not
being
able
to
do
so
is
less
a
sign
of
folly
in
your
neighbour
than
of
incompleteness
in
yourself?
I
am
quite
sure
that
if
I
were
to
take
most
or
any
of
my
friends
to
those
pleasant
yellow
fields
they
would
notice
nothing
except
the
exceeding
joltiness
of
the
road;
and
if
I
were
so
ill-advised
as
to
lift
up
a
corner
of
my
heart,
and
let
them
see
how
full
it
was
of
wonder
and
delight,
they
would
first
look
blank,
and
then
decide
mentally
that
they
were
in
the
unpleasant
situation
of
driving
over
a
stony
road
with
that
worst
form
of
idiot,
a
bore,
and
so
fall
into
the
mood
of
self-
commiseration
which
is
such
a
solace
to
us
in
our
troubles.
Yet
it
is
painful
being
suppressed
for
ever
and
ever,
and
I
believe
the
torments
of
such
a
state,
when
unduly
prolonged,
are
more
keenly
felt
by
a
woman
than
a
man,
she
having,
in
spite
of
her
protestations,
a
good
deal
of
the
ivy
nature
still
left
in
her,
and
an
unhealthy
craving
for
sympathy
and
support.
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