Enquire within upon everything

191. Hints to "Cockney Speakers." The most objectionable error of the Cockney, that of substituting the v for the w, and vice versâ, is, we believe, pretty generally abandoned. Such sentences as "Are you going to Vest Vickkam?" "This is wery good weal," &c., were too intolerable to be retained. Moreover, there has been a very able schoolmaster at work during the past forty years. This schoolmaster is no other than the loquacious Mr. Punch, from whose works we quote a few admirable exercises: i. Low Cockney.--"Seen that party lately?" "What! the party with the wooden leg, as come with--" "No, no--not that party. The party, you know, as--" "Oh! ah! I know the party you mean, now." "Well, a party told me as he can't agree with that other party, and he says that if another party can't be found to make it all square, he shall look out for a party as will."--(And so on for half an hour.) ii. Police.--"Lor, Soosan, how's a feller to eat meat such weather as this! Now, a bit o' pickled salmon and cowcumber, or a lobster salid, might do." iii. Cockney Yachtsman.--(Example of affectation.) Scene: the Regatta Ball.--"I say, Tom, what's that little craft with the black velvet flying at the fore, close under the lee scuppers of the man-of-war?" "Why, from her fore-and-aft rig, and the cut of her mainsail, I should say she's down from the port of London; but I'll signal the commodore to come and introduce us!"