Enquire within upon everything

1983. Hints upon Personal Manners. It is sometimes objected to books upon etiquette that they cause those who consult them to act with mechanical restraint, and to show in society that they are governed by arbitrary rules, rather than by an intuitive perception of what is graceful and polite. 1984. Unsound Objection. This objection is unsound because it supposes that people who study the theory of etiquette do not also exercise their powers of observation in society, and obtain, by their intercourse with others, that freedom and ease of deportment which society alone can impart. [BETTER GO TO BED SUPPERLESS THAN RISE IN DEBT.] 1985. Books upon Etiquette. Books upon Etiquette are useful, inasmuch as they expound the laws of polite society. Experience alone, however, can give effect to the precise manner in which those laws are required to be observed. 1986. Simple Hints. Whatever objections may be raised to the teachings of works upon etiquette, there can be no sound argument against a series of simple and brief hints, which shall operate as precautions against mistakes in personal conduct. 1987. No Gossip. Avoid intermeddling with the affairs of others. This is a most common fault. A number of people seldom meet but they begin discussing the affairs of some one who is absent. This is not only uncharitable, but positively unjust. It is equivalent to trying a cause in the absence of the person implicated. Even in the criminal code a prisoner is presumed to be innocent until he is found guilty. Society, however, is less just, and passes judgment without hearing the defence. Depend upon it, as a certain rule, that the people who unite with you in discussing the affairs of others will proceed to your affairs and conduct in your absence.