Perfect Behavior: A Guide for Ladies and Gentlemen in All Social Crises

CONTENTS I. THE ETIQUETTE OF COURTSHIP A Few Words about Love— Curious Incident in a Yellow Taxicab— A Silly Girl— Correct Introductions and how to Make Them— A Well Known Congressman’s Ludicrous Mistake in a Turkish Bath— Cards and Flowers— Flowers and their Message in Courtship— “A Clean Tooth Never Decays”— Receiving an Invitation to Call— The Etiquette of Telephoning-A Telephone Girl’s Horrible End— Making the First Call— Conversation and Some of its Uses— A Proper Call— The Proposal Proper-The Proposal Improper— What Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Said to the ex-Clergyman’s Niece. II. THE ETIQUETTE OF ENGAGEMENTS AND WEDDINGS The Historic Aspect— Announcing the Engagement— A Breton Fisher Girl’s Experience with a Traveling Salesman— The Bride-to-Be— The Engagement Luncheon— Selecting the Bridal Party— Invitations and Wedding Presents— A Good Joke on the Groom— “Madam, those are my trousers”— Duties of the Best Man— A Demented Taxidermist’s Strange Gift— The Bride’s Tea— The Maid of Honor— What Aunt Edna Saw on the Club Porch-The Bachelor Dinner and After-Some Practical Uses for Bi-Carbonate of Soda— The Rehearsal— The Bridal Dinner— A Church Wedding. III. THE ETIQUETTE OF TRAVEL Hints for the Correct Pedestrianism— Description of a Walk around Philadelphia with a Pueblo Indian in 1837— Travelling by Rail— Good Form on a Street Car— In the Subway— Fun with an Old Gentleman’s Whiskers— A Honeymoon in a Subway— Travelling under Steam-A Correct Night in a Pullman-What Burton Holmes Found in His Lower Berth. IV. AT THE CONCERT AND THE OPERA Listening to a Symphony Orchestra— Curious Effect of Debussy’s “Apres-midi d’un Faune” and four gin fizzes on Uncle Frederick— “No, fool like an old fool”— Correct Behavior at a Piano Recital— Choosing One’s Nearest Exit— In a Box at the Opera— What a Kansas City Society Leader Did with Her Old Victrola Records.