Perfect Behavior: A Guide for Ladies and Gentlemen in All Social Crises

It is then correct for her to pickup her umbrella and, carefully waiting until the conductor has pulled the “go ahead” signal, she should cry “Wait a minute, conductor— I want to get off here.” The car will then be stopped and she should say “Is this Madison Heights?” to which the conductor will reply “This ain’t the Madison Heights car, lady.” She should then say “But you called out Madison Heights,” to which he will answer “No, lady— that’s eight miles in the opposite direction.” She should then leave the street car, not forgetting, however, to take the conductor’s number again. The above hints for “tram” car etiquette apply, of course, only to elderly ladies. For young men and women the procedure would be in many cases quite different. A young married woman, for example, on entering a street car, should always have her ticket or small “change” so securely buried in the fourth inside pocketbook of her handbag that she cannot possibly find it inside of twelve minutes. Three or more middle-aged ladies, riding together, should never decide as to who is to pay the fare until the conductor has gone stark raving mad. Hints on Homely Young Ladies at a Dance Her conduct has stamped the young lady as a provincial and it is not to be wondered at if suppressed titters and half audible chuckles follow her about the room. PERFECT BEHAVIOR would have taught her that it is not the prerogative of a muddy-complexioned dud— even if she has had only one dance and her costume is very expensive— to cut in on a gentleman (by grabbing his neck or any other method) when he is dancing with the wide-eyed beauty from the South who leaves in five minutes to catch a train. He will be within his rights when, at the end of five minutes, after three unsuccessful attempts to loosen her grip, he will carry her into the garden under false pretences and there play the hose on her until she drowns.