Right Ho, Jeeves

“Touched and gratified.” “Thank you very much, sir.” “But what caused this change of heart?” “I chanced to encounter Mr. Fink-Nottle in the garden, sir, while you were still in bed, and we had a brief conversation.” “And you came away feeling that he needed a bracer?” “Very much so, sir. His attitude struck me as defeatist.” I nodded. “I felt the same. ‘Defeatist’ sums it up to a nicety. Did you tell him his attitude struck you as defeatist?” “Yes, sir.” “But it didn’t do any good?” “No, sir.” “Very well, then, Jeeves. We must act. How much gin did you put in the jug?” “A liberal tumblerful, sir.” “Would that be a normal dose for an adult defeatist, do you think?” “I fancy it should prove adequate, sir.” “I wonder. We must not spoil the ship for a ha’porth of tar. I think I’ll add just another fluid ounce or so.” “I would not advocate it, sir. In the case of Lord Brancaster’s parrot----” “You are falling into your old error, Jeeves, of thinking that Gussie is a parrot. Fight against this. I shall add the oz.” “Very good, sir.” “And, by the way, Jeeves, Mr. Fink-Nottle is in the market for bright, clean stories to use in his speech. Do you know any?” “I know a story about two Irishmen, sir.” “Pat and Mike?” “Yes, sir.” “Who were walking along Broadway?” “Yes, sir.” “Just what he wants. Any more?” “No, sir.” “Well, every little helps. You had better go and tell it to him.”