The Inventions of the Idiot

TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: Apart from a few punctuation corrections, no other changes have been made in the text. THE INVENTIONS OF THE IDIOT by JOHN KENDRICK BANGS Author of "A House-Boat on the Styx" "The Pursuit of the House-Boat" "Olympian Nights" Etc. Etc. New York and London Harper & Brothers Publishers 1904 Copyright, 1903, by HARPER & BROTHERS. All rights reserved. Published April, 1904 TO YOU Contents CHAPTER PAGE I. THE CULINARY GUILD 1 II. A SUGGESTION FOR THE CABLE-CARS 16 III. THE TRANSATLANTIC TROLLEY COMPANY 31 IV. THE INCORPORATION OF THE IDIOT 47 V. UNIVERSITY EXTENSION 64 VI. SOCIAL EXPANSION 79 VII. A BEGGAR'S HAND-BOOK 96 VIII. PROGRESSIVE WAFFLES 112 IX. A CLEARING-HOUSE FOR POETS 127 X. SOME ELECTRICAL SUGGESTIONS 142 XI. CONCERNING CHILDREN 158 XII. DREAMALINE 172