The Inventions of the Idiot

"We are getting back to the common-sense again," said the Bibliomaniac. "That is a proposition to which I agree. Ten years ago eight days was considered a good trip. With the development of the twin-screw steamer the time has been reduced to approximately six days." "Or a saving, really, of two days because of the extra screw," said the Idiot. "Precisely," observed the Bibliomaniac. "So that, provided there are extra screws enough, there isn't any reason why the trip should not be made in two or three hours." "Ah--what was that?" said the Bibliomaniac. "I don't exactly follow you." "One extra screw, you say, has saved two days?" "Yes." "Then two extra screws would save four days, three would save six days, and five extra screws would send the boat over in approximately no time," said the Idiot. "So, if it takes a man two hours to succumb to sea-sickness, a boat going over in less than that time would eliminate sea-sickness; more people would go; boats could run every hour, and Mr. Whitechoker could have a European trip every week without deserting his congregation." "Inestimable boon!" cried Mr. Whitechoker, with a laugh. "Wouldn't it be!" said the Idiot. "Unless I change my mind, I think I shall stay in this country until this style of greyhound is perfected. Then, gentlemen, I shall tear myself away from you, and seek knowledge in foreign pastures." "Well, I am sure," said Mr. Pedagog--"I am sure that we all hope you will change your mind."