The Journal of a Disappointed Man

K---- comes in from her dancing class, nods to me, hugs her sister around the neck and says,-- "Oh! you dear thing, you've got a cold." "I shouldn't do that," I remark, green-eyed, "she's in an awful wax to-night." She: "Oh! I don't mind K----!" (Laughter!) October 8. Heard a knock at the door last night, and, thinking it was R----, I unbolted it and let in a tramp who at once asked God to bless me and crown all my sorrow with joy. An amiable fellow to be sure--so I gave him some coppers and he at once repeated with wonderful fervour, "God bless you, sir." "I wish He would," I answered, "I have a horrible cold." "Ah, I know, I gets it myself and the hinfluenza--have you had that, sir?" In ten minutes I should have told him all my personal history. But he was thirsting for a drink and went off quickly and left me with my heart unburthened. London is a lonely place. To-day journeyed to ---- where I gave evidence as an expert in Economic Entomology at the County Court in a case concerning damage to furniture by mites for which I am paid £8 8s. fee and expenses and travelled first class. What irony! (See June 30, 1911.) October 11. I may be a weak, maundering, vacillating fool but I cannot help loving her on one day, being indifferent the next and on some occasions even disliking her.... To-day she was charming, with a certain warm glossy perfection on her face and hair.... And she loves me--I could swear it. "And when a woman woos ..." etc. How difficult for a vain and lonely man to resist her. She tells me many times in many dainty ways that she loves me without so much as stopping her work to talk.